Anniversary


A beautiful piece of music, a gift from a good friend last year.
My brother and I watched the video (now private) in the darkest part of the night—contemplating our father, sharing memories…

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13 thoughts on “Anniversary

  1. The breakup of mourning, from the end of 7 days, to the end of the first month, to the end of the first year has a rhythm and reason that were set down from time long ago. I hope sharing the memories helped, Tess.

  2. Yes.
    Thank you.
    The times, and the memories–I am not Jewish myself, but considering the Jewish traditions, then my poor dead father, at the end, he was such a lost and abandoned child.
    Placing stones on the grave when you visit: remembering both the dead and the living.
    A virtual stone here

  3. My family doesn’t understand I don’t visit my fathers grave. It’s been 2,5 yrs since he died. I only went once after the funeral, i somehow can’t relate the cemetary to his death. The funeral hurted so much. The thought of the cemetary hurts me more.. if I stay away from that place I can still imagine happy memories

  4. My dad requested that his (and my mom’s) ashes be interred up North in the old cemetery where his mother and other family is buried. I have many memories of visiting there, planting flowers, trimming shrubs, looking at the very old markers with lambs and angels. All of us siblings and our children gathered there last summer. http://tessexpressed.wordpress.com/2011/08/15/up-north-the-interment/
    We were fortunate to be able to do that, but it was strange to see the place again: the same, but smaller, closer to town than I remembered. I know what you mean, about a cemetery—the living keep memories in our hearts.

  5. Thank you for that link. Feel closer to you now.

    It looks nicer than the space we got.. I was too shocked to take care of anything, so nothing happened according to my taste..which I’m happy about afterwards too ’cause since I took off and stayed away I was the only one who didn’t have to go into discussions and fights.

    My dad gave me a 20 yrs younger (than me) babysis. She’s beautiful and looks like him… I’ll have to make sure she’ll remember him.

    • Yes, you will have to make sure she learns about your father. People are uncomfortable speaking about the dead, but if someone was part of your life then how can it be bad to bring up memories. A few tears, maybe? A small price to pay for the happy memories.

      We siblings have not been especially close, and the trip up North was good for us to get acquainted again. I suppose that explains my tender feelings on this anniversary. We’d had a religious service after my mom died, but dad was not religious. It was odd to gather in the cemetery without a “leader.” We each set a rock on the container with their ashes, recalled times past, had a “group” hug…

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